I was told at the age of 12 that I have an Astrocytoma Benign Inoperable Brain Tumour. Where my tumour lies it blocks fluid from flowing; therefore, the doctors had to immediately put in a shunt to alleviate that fluid pressure build up. The doctors saw on my MRI that my retinas were under so much pressure, because of my brain tumour, they were on the verge of exploding – I was very close to going blind.
On the bright side though, once the doctors put the shunt in my head, it helped enormously to alleviate that fluid pressure build up. Furthermore, as long as my shunt works efficiently I can live a long full happy life; however, I have had many problems with my shunt(s) in the past – I have had 28 shunt revisions/ brain surgeries over my lifetime, because my shunt(s) have malfunctioned many times.
Every time I have had to endure a brain surgery, the doctors had to shave a good amount of hair off in order to perform the brain surgery. When I was a child, that was devastating to me. I was just like any other normal 12-year old girl, I loved my hair.
When I began having brain surgeries, it took a lot for me to gain the courage to look at where the doctors had shaved my hair off. Moreover, when I did find the courage to look at the shaved part of my head for the first time, I waited until all of my family and friends had left my hospital room. I went to the mirror and took another mirror to look at the back side of my head to see what it looked like. It devastated me. Honestly, I just felt like the ugliest person in the world. Obviously, I knew deep down I wasn’t. But that was just how I felt.
It has taken me 16 years to feel comfortable enough to share with the world and the public what my head looks like underneath my hair when the doctors have to shave my hair for surgery, but now I can proudly share with the world what it looks like, because I know even though I had to get my hair shaved for brain surgery, I know that I am still beautiful.